Yippie! An internet-based comic!!

IF YOU ARE ON FACEBOOK AND CAN'T SEE THE PICTURES, CLICK HERE

Episode 1: An Imperial Surprise

A squad of Rebel Alliance troops has the remnants of a stormtrooper army on the run; victory is near

... or so they thought!

Too bad the rebel commander didn't remember that the AT-AT only moves at less than half the speed that most troopers can, but packs a real wallup. He'll need to read the stat cards better next time.

Stay tuned to see how it all ends (I'll be interested to find out as well. I think it will suck now, but it might not)

Happy Freak'n Winter

Family Photo, 2006

Well “friends,” it’s that time of year again,… when we have nothing better to do than sit around, reminisenting about the bass-ackwards days of yore over bottles of cheep rum. Since the rum always seems to be gone I need to go get some. But before I head below deck to grab a cold one and briefly talk with Orlando Bloom’s water-logged father, I would like to present to you my semester in review:

Best Office-related avatar of the year

In August, this semester started innocently enough. With only four classes and 12 hours total, I was looking forward to an easy and rather enjoyable time. The classes should be easy enough: British Literature through 1800, Modern History (elective), Journalism Law and Ethics, and Multi-Ethnic American Literature. The only problem I knew that I would be facing is financial difficulties since I started the school year jobless but with a little saved up. But I started to get a very bad feeling about all of this when I went to my first class and this is what I saw:

"I'm sure we will all have fun in this class"

While a couple of people ran screaming from the room never to be seen again, I fought back the urge to do the same. I now regret that but at least I did well enough to pass. My small papers were just not ever good enough for an “A” grade and my big all-important paper was just not “pushing the envelope enough” (even though I met all criteria, and when pointing it out to her she all but verbally agreed) to get a “B.”

Multi-Ethnic-whatever-it-was turned out to be my best class. It was complete and total bull. If you somehow worked the phrase “ethnic identity” into your answer for anything, you got your points for the day. The class had about 20 stories/novels/plays/articles as assigned reading; I read the equivalent of about one-fourth of one short story for the entire class, perhaps a total of 20 pages and I was told by both the prof and my fellow students that I came up with the most insightful comments. I actually spent the vast majority of the class using my laptop to either write papers for another class or have an ethnic cleansing of whatever group we were studying in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. For the latter, I would usually drive the combine around various locations in the inner city and use it to “harvest” their souls. Get it? Combine + “harvest” = GOOD CLEAN FUN! There were also numerous short response papers for the stories/what-nots and they were easily accomplished with the help of Sparknotes or random articles that were vaguely about some minuet aspect of an ethnic culture. Do you know the history of the Greek gyro? I do, but I was sworn to secrecy about it so I can never tell. And I conveniently don’t remember.

Also, as a note to all who have to take a class like this, when you get to Mexican-America literature, just say that “This part of the book is like in the movie Desperado where…” and then say something outlandish, even if you haven’t see the movie. Chances are the prof has not seen it either and will nod his or her head and complement you on your uncanny ability to bring pop culture references into the discussion. I spent a lot of time trying to bring up General Tso versus Colonel Sanders while we studied Asian-American crap but, alas, that was to no avail.

Asains made Pokemon very popular with American children

Journalism was pretty cool. The prof told many jokes in the class that the females and sexually questioning males all found distasteful. The lectures were combination PowerPoint/discussion/question-answer and I did learn a great deal. Journalism had only one downfall: the three tests, which were about 80% of the final grade. After each of the first two tests, we would spend an entire class period arguing over answers and pointing out questions that where worded strangely. To give you some idea, this fight of valor would usually result in me going up a full letter grade and the class argument would usually last the entire two hour time slot. It was a good time to be had by all.

The class that I struggled with the most this semester was a class that was designed to weed out the weak freshmen. After having several really well-written papers thrown back in my face with a big fat “D” on them for my history class (the dude’s sluty little grad student said that my Interview paper lacked a thesis when in fact it was the first sentence of the paper, as journalisticly written articles normally are, and she would not change it, probably because I didn’t offer to get involved with any “extra-curricular activities” with her), and after failing nearly every quiz in the class, I turned my grade around enough with the final exam and high attendance. The prof actually didn’t do much grading himself, since his research about 60-year-old concentration camps was just too important for him to put aside he left all the heavy grading, as well as much of the heavy lifting (if you catch my meaning), to his perky pal. If I ever see that prof again strutting about campus after a rendezvous with this grad student, I’ll remind him “Bros before hoes, dude. Bros before hoes.”

From what I learned in history class, this is how most World War I battles went

Now in December, I can look back at it all and say that this semester was the worst in my college history. It was one of the cheapest semesters, because not only did I buy no more than $30 worth of the several-hundred dollars worth of “required” books for the semester, but with the classes I was in there were almost no females that were worth spending money on, as opposed to the average of 1.33 ladies per semester that I have treated to my gracious company since starting at BG (or in some cases, begged for a date,… most cases). This is also the first time in my college career that my cumulative GPA dropped down below 3.0 (it’s at a 2.99 right now). Fortunately, it was also the final semester of regular classes because in January I will be starting Methods (where they train you to be a student teacher, as opposed to Student Teaching where you’re trained to be a real teacher) at Oak Harbor High School. We do get graded for methods, but from what I understand you either get an “A” or “F” for the four classes that make up Methods Block (as it is known for us AYA people.) …Or maybe that is five classes? Whatever, it will be hard work but the GPA will rise a respectable amount before the end of all things. I’ve still got a year of walking before I get to Mount Doom and can finally cast my One Ring into the fire from whence it came with jubilant ecstasy, but I can see it from where I am now.

I’m just really slow at walking in RL. My mommy says that’s what makes me special. If this was all like WoW, I could have been there and back again by now, just so you know.

OMG, just look at this tard...