Real men level-up during Spring Break

Alas, the insubstantial, exuberantic period known as Spring Break has gone to pass yet again whilst I did nothing but practice sitting in front of my "magic, interactice picture-radio," basking in it's warm glow.

Oh well. Now I can get back to where I am comfortable wasting time as opposed to not knowing what to do with my free time.

Ann Coulter, I love you.

Hizza, hizza! It's Oscars night! The night were America unites and doesn't watch a moment of the biggest night of the year. But Family Guy is being replaced by a Will Smith movie so I will have nothing to do except level-up my sorceress in Diable II (her little pixily body is soooo XXL hot,... umm..., I would love to play with her bump maping...)

As many of you know, the "biggest" movie of the year is one about cowboys who get tired of having their way with their horses and dogs. And "biggest" is "biggest" in quotes because (1) NO BODY WANTS TO GO SEE IT (they havn't even released some number to find out how popular it really is) and (2) the movies that people did go to see, you remember, the one about the war in the stars (the one really good one of the three most recent), the wardrobe, witch, and lion one, and a couple of others, have no mention whatsoever.

Thank you, Glenn, for paying other people to think stuff like this up.

So now, exotic goddess and the love of my life Ann Coulter makes her first ever Oscar Predictions, the most amusing of which is the choice of one catagory in particular. I think it really shows the direct that mainstream Hollywood wants to take, which the majority of American won't let happen because no one wants to go see crappy movies like those featured throughout this year's awards. Her wise, Rush-like truth/humor follows:

Finally, my favorite category: best foreign language film. The nominees are:

— "Don't Tell" (Italy)

— "Joyeux Noel" (France)

— "Paradise Now" (Palestine)

— "Sophie Scholl" (Germany)

— "Tsotsi" (South Africa)

After consulting with the Yale admissions committee, the awards committee will give the Oscar to ... "Paradise Now," a heartwarming story about Palestinian suicide bombers. How good is it? Al-Jazeera gave it 4 1/2 pipe bombs. It's Air Syria's featured in-flight movie this month — go figure! I don't want to spoil the ending for you, but let's just say there won't be a sequel.

Normally, the smart money is on the Holocaust movie, so any other year, "Sophie Scholl" would have been the clear favorite. Unfortunately for the makers of "Sophie Scholl," their Holocaust movie came out the same year as a pro-terrorist movie, so they lose.

... indeed you are powerful as the Emperor has forseen...

Yesterday, I had the privilege of handing $200 over to people I both don't know and don't care to know so I could take two very long tests and prove that I am at least somewhat competent with literary stuff.

Me fail English? That's unpossible!

The first test was 120 questions of multiple-choice fun with 120 minutes to complete it. Normally, I would probably take about half that time to complete it, look over it for five minutes, and then just sit there like the a good little 23-year-old-who-still-lives-in-his-parents-house. But, probably since the test was at 7:30am on a &%#@ing Saturday, about half way through it I thought that I wouldn't make it and started rushing the questions. Five minutes of this go by (and I got a LOT of questions "answered") when the supervisor says that this is still an hour left. This made me feel somewhat better, as if I were going from "homicidal maniac Magee" crazy to a more "disgruntled post office employee" angry. And the questions were exactly what one would expect from an institution of "higher" "education." Plenty of liberal bias sprinkled in between Mark Twain and Shakespeare. One question actually did come right out and state "The Conservatives think that this planet is in good shape" and that we should be able to capitalize off the land and that's wrong or something. I saw "Conservatives" and "wrong" in the same line and just had to suppress a vomitous gag, but I didn't do it too well because bial shot out my nose and ears.

The second test I went into knowing nothing about. Turns out that it was made up of 12 multiple guess questions and 12 not-so-short answer questions. What ya do iz read a "completely logical and life-like" case study and answer "what should have been done instead of what the dumb-ass teacher did" questions. 4 case studies in all, one about an A.D.D. boy, and something about groups that won't communicate with each other; that all I remember. It seemed like just common sense stuff that you explain and *whala* you win. I did notice that there was a lot of people taking that were either in the Methods classes or were Student Teaching. I have not yet done either so maybe I wasn't supposed to take this yet. Oh well.

I'll get the results in 4 weeks.