Stardate: 2202
The following is from the comic geniuses from SomethingAwful.com. Well, actually it's from their readers who wrote in to talk about their experience on being a total jerk while playing their online games. Some of the other stories are just as incredible. Click anywhere in/on/around this sentence to check out more comedy, especially if you are at work and have writer's block like me. Hilarity ensues:
On my server, there is a very elite, very exclusive guild called "Absolution", that is very easily months ahead of the other guilds in terms of end game content. They completely dominate all PvP they partake in, have three 40-person teams farming Molten Core, and still find time to be relatively nice to anyone outside of their guild. From assisting with Onyxia runs to providing very generous incentives to the unlocking of AQ, Absolution has the shit on lockdown. So naturally, everyone and their sister Debra wishes to join them.
Now my guild, which I wanna make nameless, was as envious of their success as we were upset that we couldn't get membership. So we did what any rational smaller guild would do: we disbanded our guild temporarily, and created "AbsoIution". Note the capital I in the guild name- it is impossible to distinguish it from a lower case "l" in game. Now that we had the identity, we decided to expand & invite anyone who wanted to join. No surprise that in a 8 hour period our membership grew from 30 to 170.
From there it was all a matter of being complete dickheads in game and ruining their good graces. We ninja'd loot without prejudice, we had 20 people go AFK in Alterac Valley, we made General Chat in Ironforge our own personal guild chat. Then, a mere three days after the damage had been done and we had almost every single terrible dramawhore in our collection, my original group quit the guild, we gave leadership of AbsoIution to someone who rarely logs in, then reformed our original guild.
Absolution hasn't been the same since.
On my server, there is a very elite, very exclusive guild called "Absolution", that is very easily months ahead of the other guilds in terms of end game content. They completely dominate all PvP they partake in, have three 40-person teams farming Molten Core, and still find time to be relatively nice to anyone outside of their guild. From assisting with Onyxia runs to providing very generous incentives to the unlocking of AQ, Absolution has the shit on lockdown. So naturally, everyone and their sister Debra wishes to join them.
Now my guild, which I wanna make nameless, was as envious of their success as we were upset that we couldn't get membership. So we did what any rational smaller guild would do: we disbanded our guild temporarily, and created "AbsoIution". Note the capital I in the guild name- it is impossible to distinguish it from a lower case "l" in game. Now that we had the identity, we decided to expand & invite anyone who wanted to join. No surprise that in a 8 hour period our membership grew from 30 to 170.
From there it was all a matter of being complete dickheads in game and ruining their good graces. We ninja'd loot without prejudice, we had 20 people go AFK in Alterac Valley, we made General Chat in Ironforge our own personal guild chat. Then, a mere three days after the damage had been done and we had almost every single terrible dramawhore in our collection, my original group quit the guild, we gave leadership of AbsoIution to someone who rarely logs in, then reformed our original guild.
Absolution hasn't been the same since.
posted by Matt "Real-life Jedi Knight" Milbrodt at 2:01 PM
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